We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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