one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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