Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
