Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?