just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
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It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.