WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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