I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
