I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
