Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
