I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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