I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
