I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
