she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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