you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
