you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
