Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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