I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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