This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The power of my boobs compel you
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