Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
