I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
