I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
