I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
