got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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