Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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