They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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