I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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