Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
