What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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