BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
