3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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