i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
