Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize