I want to make a zoo with you.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
