he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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