dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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