It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize