i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
