My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
God, I missed his penis.
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