from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
