Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
