You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
