so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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