drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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