He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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