just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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