she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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