so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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