just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I love you. Go after that dick
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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