She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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