i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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