fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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