So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
