Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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