You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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