I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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