Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Tornado booty call.. dedication
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize