things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
