I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
