He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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