So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
