i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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