We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
