I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We are two peas in an std pod
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
