I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
