I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
